I'll Make a Stallion Out of You
by Alexriolover95
Summary: A Parody of "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan! (Originally posted on fimfiction)


**Hey everycreature!**

**So yeah I'm back on here, having given up on fimfiction because of a certain event I rather not talk about…**

**Anyway… I have decided to just start reposting all my stuff from there on here, and it will be marked as such. Of course new things wouldn't and you'll know the difference easily!**

**So I'm going to start with reposting a thing that well led to me coming back here…**

**So one of my most favorite Disney animated movies, Mulan, is getting the live action treatment for next year and the latest trailer got me all hyped up!**

**If you haven't seen it yet... Here it is: watch?v=KK8FHdFluOQ**

**And yes I know a lot of people hate this, because of some things like no songs **

**or Mushu, but I don't care... It looks awesome and I can't wait for it to come out!**

**But until that time... Enjoy a parody of one of the songs from the original movie!**

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It was a desperate time for the Crystal Empire, the Yaks, strong and powerful, have invaded the northern border of the empire and were ravaging their way down to the capital of the empire, unstoppable thus far. In response, the leader of the Crystal Empire, Princess Amore, has sent her army under General Nightlight, up north to meet the Yaks and stop them. Meanwhile back in the capital of the empire, General Nightlight has entrusted his son, Captain Shining Armor, with staying behind to train the new recruits who would reinforce the army when they were ready.

And well...

"Order." A rather fancy looking stallion named Fancy Pants, was trying to calm the rowdy group of stallions, as he tipped a quill to a clipboard. "Everypony order."

"I would like a pan fired haystack." A stallion called out.

"Oh and sweet haycakes." A big red earth pony stallion named Big Mac added.

"That's not funny." Fancy Pants huffed.

"Looks like our new friend slept in this morning." A pegasus stallion named Soarin called out as a recruit could be seen galloping in, a rather deep pink pegasus stallion, making his way to the group.

The "stallion's" name was Colt, but not really... Because "he" was actually a she, a young pegasus mare named Cadance. Cadance disguised herself like a stallion, cutting her long purple and pink mane short, to prevent her own father, who has already fought in a previous war and was affected by a handicap, from joining the army a second time. Cadance, after taking her father's sword and armor, galloped off to join the army herself, at great risk to her and her family because if she was caught, she would be severely punished...

And Cadance wasn't really getting along too well with her fellow recruits...

"Hello Colt, hungry?" Soarin asked.

"Yeah..." Another pegasus stallion named Thunderlane getting an idea as he then grabbed Cadance's collarand lifted up one of his hooves. "Because I own you a hoof sandwich..."

Before another incident could get started and Thunderlane delivering his "hoof sandwich" to Cadance, a commanding voice spoke up, which stopped the recruits.

"Soldiers!" The voice shouted as the recruits then got quiet and formed a line at attention, a very strong looking white unicorn stallion stepping up. "You will assemble swiftly and silently every morning." The unicorn instructed as he took off his shirt and grabbed a bow and arrow. "Anyone who acts otherwise, will answer to me."

"Oh..." Thunderlane said softly. "Tough guy."

"Thunderlane..." Shining Armor said as he passed by the pegasus stallion, putting an arrow on his bow as he aimed it at the pegasus, the other recruits taking a step back as Thunderlane didn't move, but right before he shot, Shining Armor shot it at a very tall pole nearby. "Thank you for volunteering, retrieve the arrow."

"I'll get that arrow pretty colt and I'll do it with my shirt on." Thunderlane said as he was about to fly up, only...

"One moment..." Shining Armor said as he came up with Fancy Pants, who was carrying a box with something heavy in it. "You seem to be missing something." Shining Armor said as he took out two very heavy weights, which he picked up with ease, giving them to Thunderlane one at a time. "This represents discipline and this represents strength." Shining Armor said about each weight as he put one around each of Thunderlane's front hooves, Big Mac and Soarin laughing at the pegasus. "You need both to reach the arrow." Shining Armor said as Thunderlane looked up at the arrow high up, as he then stretched out his wings before trying to fly, only the weights held him down and he landed face first on the ground.

Soarin tried next and landed hard on his back.

Big Mac, being an earth pony, had to climb it and well failed even more than Soarin and Thunderlane.

And finally Cadance couldn't even get to where Soarin and Thunderlane reached as she rubbed her back from the soreness of having to hold two heavy weights, Shining Armor clearly not impressed by any of the recruits.

"We got a long way to go..." Shining Armor said as he took out a few wooden sticks which resembled spears, tossing them to the recruits, the recruits catching them as Cadance was about to catch her's, only Thunderlane, who was next to her, caught it before she could and then used it trip her before throwing it on the ground before her and pretended that he had nothing to do with it.

_Let's get down to business, to defeat the Yaks _

_Did they send me fillies, when I asked for colts?_

Shining Armor started the lesson as he used the wooden spear to literally throw up a couple of pots before smashing them. The recruits following as Soarin, having picked up a bug off the ground, put into Cadance's clothes as Cadance felt the bug and began wildly swinging her stick, knocking all the other recruits to the ground as Shining Armor stepped up...

_You're the saddest bunch I ever met But you can bet before we're through_

Which was a mistake because he got hit by the stick Cadance was swinging around, as he then took the stick away from her, before getting right up to her face, Fancy Pants taking note.

_Mister, I'll make a stallion out of you_

Next up was archery practice, which the recruits were no better at, completely missing the painted target on a tree as Cadance was about to cheat, only for Shining Armor to catch her and stare at her.

_Tranquil as a forest but on fire within_

Next up Shining Armor literally had a bucket of water on his head and a wooden stick as the other recruits threw rocks at him, which Shining Armor deflected every one. As Cadance did it, she was struggling to balance the bucket and the stick as Big Mac, Soarin and Thunderlane were all ready to pelt her with rocks, throwing them as Cadance dodged, but the bucket fell down on her, soaking her and covering her vision. Even still she somehow managed to deflect one of the rocks, which almost hit Shining Armor as he moved aside and the rock harmlessly hit Big Mac.

_Once you find your center, you are sure to win You're a spineless, pale, pathetic lot _

_And you haven't got a clue Somehow I'll make a stallion out of you_

Next, Shining Armor tested the recruits' reflexes, taking them to a stream as he literally moved his hoof lightning fast and took a fish that was swimming by. Cadance, who was next to Thunderlane, tried it, but instead of a fish, accidentally grabbed onto Thunderlane's hoof

_I'm never gonna catch my breath_

_ Say goodbye to those who knew me_

Next, Shining Armor literally had the recruits run through a barrage of fire arrows as Thunderlane had his rump lit up, screaming from having his rump on fire as he ran to put it out.

_Boy, was I a fool in school for cutting gym_

Meanwhile Soarin was not having a good time too as he banged his head right into a solid block of ice, trying to break it, but instead getting his teeth shook up.

_This guy's got 'em scared to death _

_Hope he doesn't see right through me_

And Shining Armor was hoof fighting Cadance, knocking Cadancer out easily while Big Mac was trying to jump from pole to pole above a lake, but stopped and fell right into the water.

_Now I really wish that I knew how to swim_

_Be a stallion _

_We must be swift as the coursing river_

The recruits then practicing firing and aiming rockets, missing the target.

_Be a stallion _

_With all the force of a great typhoon_

As Cadance lit up her rocket, Soarin kicked the rocket as Cadance grabbed it, but it went off, right into the sky…

_Be a stallion _

_With all the strength of a raging fire_

And landed right into Fancy Pant's tent, which luckily the stallion himself was just coming out.

_Mysterious as the dark side of the moon_

Shining Armor was seriously doubting the recruits as the next day came...

The recruits all carrying two buckets full of water each up a mountain as Fancy Pants, pointed out Cadance to Shining Armor.

_Time is racing toward us till the Yaks arrive_

Shining Armor going back and taking Cadance's bucket, doubling his load, but carrying them with ease.

_Heed my every order and you might survive_

As night fell, Shining Armor came, carrying Cadance's things as he gave them to her.

_You're unsuited for the rage of war _

_So pack up, go home, you're through_

_ How could I make a stallion out of you?_

However before Cadance left, she looked up towards the arrow, which was still high up, lodged in the top of the pole. Cadance, finding the two heavy weights was determined to get the arrow, tying the weights to her front hooves as she stretched out her wings and began the flight up.

_Be a stallion _

_We must be swift as the coursing river_

Not giving in, Cadance tried again, flexing her wings as hard as she could.

_Be a stallion_

_ With all the force of a great typhoon_

Taking it slow, she got closer and closer as the other recruits, waking up, saw the sight as Cadance, all sweaty and beginning to grow tired, almost fell right back down to the ground, but she pushed past that and continued on…

_Be a stallion _

_With all the strength of a raging fire _

_Mysterious as the dark side of the moon_

As Shining Armor came out of his tent, he was greeted by an arrow falling down right in front of him, as he was surprised, looking up to see Cadance sitting on top of the pole while the other recruits cheered.

_Be a stallion _

_We must be swift as the coursing river_

With renewed confidence and determination, the recruits quickly progressed through their training, while Cadance was the strongest of them all, galloping with the two buckets full of water up a hill as well as beating Shining Armor in a hoof fight,, knocking him down. Meanwhile Big Mac, Soarin, and Thunderlane were much better. Big Mac jumping easily from one pole to pole over the lake.

_Be a stallion _

_With all the force of a great typhoon_

As the recruits all practiced fighting with their wooden sticks, just like before Thunderlane caught the one meant for Cadance, but instead of using it to trip her, he simply gave it to her. Thunderlane himself ran through the arrow barrage exercise completely unharmed. Soarin managed to break the block of ice with his head. And Cadance managed to catch several fish in both of her front hooves from the rushing stream. While the recruits were very accurate with their rocket shots, completely blowing a mock Yak target.

_Be a stallion_

_ With all the strength of a raging fire _

_Mysterious as the dark side of the moon_

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**And there goes the first repost, expect lots more to follow!**

**See everycreature later!**


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